Couples Therapy
Method

My training is in Gottman Method Couples Therapy Level 1 and treating Trauma and Affairs. The Gottman Method is an evidence-based therapy that focuses on emotions, communication, friendship, and shared meaning. It uses structured exercises to help facilitate growth in a safe, nurturing, and connecting process.
Therapy has three goals:
1.) Modify Conflict
2.) Enhance Friendship
3.) Create Shared Meaning
To speak to Lee, our registered psychologist who specializes in couples therapy, click book now.
Therapy has three goals:
1.) Modify Conflict
- Understand each other's point of view
- Replace unhealthy communicating patterns
- Move from gridlock to dialogue
- Develop these six skills:
- Gentle Start-Up
- Accept Influence
- Effective Repairs
- De-escalate Conflict
- Compromise
- Self-Soothing
- Process emotional injuries and regrettable incidents
2.) Enhance Friendship
- Turn toward bids for connection
- Know each other's world
- Build a culture of fondness and admiration
- Process failed bids for connection
- Intentionally build positive sentiment
- Reduce stress
- Build affection, romance, passion, and good sex
- Restore adventure, play, fun, and humour
3.) Create Shared Meaning
- Rituals of connection
- Shared purpose in building a life together
To speak to Lee, our registered psychologist who specializes in couples therapy, click book now.
What does treatment look like?
The first three sessions are 1.5 hour assessments. It will include opportunities for intervention, but the main focus is on developing the best treatment plan for you.
First Session:
Second Session: We will meet individually each for 45 minutes to discuss:
Third Session: In this session, you will receive detailed feedback* on:
Sessions start out weekly then continue to space as therapy progress is made. If you're doing individual therapy, you can alternate weeks with couples therapy. There is no set number of sessions, but couples usually do anywhere between 6-12 sessions.
*Please note, there is a $39 USD fee for a Gottman assessment to complete prior to this session. This is through the Gottman Institute, not Relevare Counselling. This cost covers the price of the assessment and its scoring.
First Session:
- What brings you into therapy? What are you hoping to accomplish?
- Your "Story of Us". How you met, relationship ups and downs, adjustments, what you know about each other.
- Family history
- Conflict. Assessing how you resolve problems and giving feedback.
Second Session: We will meet individually each for 45 minutes to discuss:
- Relevant family history
- History of prior relationships/therapy
- Commitment, expectations, and goals
- Cost/benefit analysis of the relationship
- Ongoing mental health or addictions
Third Session: In this session, you will receive detailed feedback* on:
- Friendship and Intimacy
- Love maps
- Fondness and admiration
- Turning toward or away
- Trust and Commitment
- Shared Meaning
- Rituals of connection
- Supporting roles
- Shared goals
- Shared symbols
- Conflict Management
- Harsh startup
- The "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse"
- Flooding
- Accepting influence
- Compromise
- Repair attempts
Sessions start out weekly then continue to space as therapy progress is made. If you're doing individual therapy, you can alternate weeks with couples therapy. There is no set number of sessions, but couples usually do anywhere between 6-12 sessions.
*Please note, there is a $39 USD fee for a Gottman assessment to complete prior to this session. This is through the Gottman Institute, not Relevare Counselling. This cost covers the price of the assessment and its scoring.
Resources
To learn more about Gottman Method Couples Therapy check out these books:
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work goes through a detailed explanation of the "Sound-Relationship House" with questionnaires and exercises you can practice to start working on your relationship today. Eight Dates is a simplified text that makes therapy principles easy to understand, gives real-life examples of all types of couples, and has questions at the end for you to have a date night. I made a post series on dysfunctional relationship patterns and their antidotes. You can find it on my social media @relevare_counselling. If you're still unsure, feel free to reach out and we can do a free 15 minute phone consultation to see if I'm a good fit for you. |