Dark Places

“To show you the way back from dark places into which you have strayed. To show you the way forward through dark places into which you must go.”
—Terry Brooks, Antrax 

      When mental health struggles arise, it can feel like we are enveloped in darkness. Some people say that life turns a dismal grey. Others manage to feel lonely in a room full of people they love and are loved by. You may begin to doubt yourself, even feel crazy at times. And those places that once brought you solace become gossamer threads of memory where what remains only serves as judgement about what you can never have again: peace, hope, and happiness.
      If you feel you have strayed into dark places, there is still hope. In fact, those dark places hold the very answers you may be looking for. However, answers are cheap when you feel broken and alone, but here are three ways you can find hope again as you venture back from your dark places.

1. Identify the “glass and rubber balls” in your life. You may have heard the analogy before. Some things in your life are “rubber balls” (e.g., work) that, if dropped, will be able to bounce right back. Glass balls (e.g., mental health) are not the kinds of things that can be neglected. If they are dropped, they shatter. Yet it’s ironic that many of us will continue to maintain work as our highest priority when our homes are conflict-ridden, our sleeps are restless, and our very wills to live are threatened by suicidality and thoughts of death.
2. Find your “peace palace”. What are some important or meaningful people, places, events, activities, situations, or goals that you have been withdrawing from or procrastinating? Some issues—especially during a pandemic—are going to persist despite any level of skill you have. Kids are going to fight, traffic is going to be backed up, and for some reason he’ll keep on leaving his socks on the floor around the house… But in the face of all these stressors, where can you turn for peace at least once a day? Maybe take a long shower, have an end of day routine, watch a show with your partner, or sit down with that book you’ve been meaning to finish. It doesn’t have to be long or intense. Just something you visit each day.
3. Listen to your body. Studies indicate that generalized anxiety is the most commonly diagnosed psychiatric disorder in older adults but they are more likely to attribute their anxiety symptoms to physical health problems. The reason for this is because of our mind-body connection. There’s a saying, “If you bury emotions, you bury them alive.” So if your body is suffering from chronic back and neck pain, fibromyalgia, migraines, digestive problems, spastic colon/irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, asthma, or other physical issues, it may be your body’s way of telling you of an underlying emotional issue.

  
      The journey out of your dark places is not something you can do alone. And as moving around in the dark is bound to have some stumbles, so too will your journey of recovery and healing. Therapy can be a safe place for you to explore your emotions and relationships, your hopes and dreams, and support you as you come back from the dark places into which you have strayed.